My exterminator's wife has been fighting cancer for the last three years. He told me this the other day while clearing out the ant farm that formed in our basement.

He never spoke about it before, so I had no idea. All these years, he'd come over, and we'd chit-chat.

But if someone never opens up to you about something, it’s impossible to know what they’re going through.

Think about it, most people we run into, we don’t know well enough to be vulnerable, and they don't know our story either. They don't know what we deal with in the day-to-day or have dealt with in the past that makes us, us.

So, they don’t really know us. They know how we seem or what we want them to know about us.

Well, here's your reminder: we don’t really know them either.

Everyone is fighting a battle and going through something.

The neighbor you see in passing and talk about the weather and kids with, well, she’s knee-deep in depression and has a hard time getting out of bed most days. She smiles for you, but her insides are screaming.

The mailman who comes to deliver your mail is in mourning the loss of his mother.

The cashier at the store who gave you a bit of an attitude when checking out is going through a brutal divorce and is on the brink of a breakdown.

The mom who seems to have it all together, has a history of drug abuse. She used to take a cocktail of pills and alcohol to get to sleep but has been in recovery for years. She often fears falling back.

Because when it comes down to it, we’re all fighting hard battles. We’ve all been through the hard, are going through it, or will go through it.

But we’re all only vulnerable with a handful of people.

So, always be kind.

Because if you really knew them,
your heart would be heavy.

Danielle Sherman-Lazar

Danielle Sherman-Lazar is a mental health advocate and mother to three daughters. She has been published on numerous websites including: InspireMore, Scary Mommy, Bluntmoms, The Mighty, ellenNation, Project Heal, Love What Matters, Cafemom.com, Beating Eating Disorders, Her View From Home, Motherly, Recovery Warriors, and Humorwriters.org.

https://livingfull.me
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