If We Want to Raise Resilient Kids We Have to Let Them Catch Themselves

“Why didn’t you catch her?” I yelled at my mom as the baby flew face forward down the slide.

“You can't always catch her. Besides, she put her hands out.” My mom answered.

And she was right metaphorically speaking, too. We can’t always catch them.

Because most of the time, when they’re falling in their lives, we won't be there.

We won’t be there when he gets bullied at school, and an insult hits him where it hurts.

We won’t be there when she falls at her friend’s house and scrapes her knee.

We won’t be there when he’s having problems with his friends, and the first tear falls down his cheek.

You see, my anxiety was so bad that at that moment, all I could think about was my almost-two-year-old getting hurt. But what I didn’t realize until my mom pointed it out was that I was robbing my child of a growth opportunity.

To become independent and resilient, we have to let our children do things on their own. Because there’s no way to master something without experiencing it.

And it's not totally our fault that we try to fix everything, either. As mothers, "fixing" is almost like a reflex. We're programmed to do what needs to be done on autopilot. We don't stop to think. We put on our super mommy capes and just do.

And yes, we will always be a phone call away, but we want to raise children who can think for themselves and take care of situations when they arise. And if our children want to get our opinion or ask us to be a sounding board, then lucky us.

And we’ll always be there to pick up the pieces and for support. So, my mom was right. Our children need to learn to catch themselves.

So, I will practice saying “you’ve got this” instead of “I’ve got this” from here on out.