Mom Friends Are For Comfort in the Hard, Not Judgment

I looked closely at my mom friend.

She had that look: the one where her eyes were watery and the corners of her mouth drawn downwards.

The look of defeat.

I could see it in her eyes because I’ve been there time and time again.

I’ve seen that look staring back at me in the mirror, hands grasping the bathroom sink.

Because I, too, have been at the end of my rope with my children.

I have looked back on a moment with my children and felt like such a failure.

You know, when you can't do it anymore and think you're a failure of a mom because look how your child behaves!

Well, I saw my mom friend feeling all of it.

Her child was having a day. And I witnessed the whole interaction.

There was a fit.

There was screaming and yelling.

And when it was over, she came to where the rest of us were playing and apologized to me.

And my goodness, I never wanted her to feel the need to apologize for her child’s very human emotions again, and I told her that.

Because next playdate, that will likely be one of my daughters.

Because it doesn't help to insert your advice on what you'd do. It never helps when you say, "you should have put him in the corner" or "you shouldn't have given in."

Because when I feel defeated, I pray for someone to come hug me and support me, not judge me, so I intended to be that person for her.

Because sometimes, what I need is someone to take me out of the moment and remind me that I need to breathe.

So, I tried to help her find her breath through empathy and by letting her know that she’s not alone.

Moms need to support each other through our challenging moments.

Because we’re the only ones who really know how hard it can be in the trenches.

And we all know that look and feeling of defeat all too well.

And sometimes, all we need is the reminder that: we’re the best mother for our children and are not alone.